My son is nearly 12 and we have just started talking about his birthday and what he wants to do. He mentioned a party and I am not so sure.
The last party he had was his fifth birthday. He liked dancing so I arranged a party in a hall with a local dance teacher doing some party dances like the hokey kokey and some food.
I invited my son’s whole class at school. Some said no straight away, some never replied and in the end about ten said yes. My son doesn’t like crowds anyway so I figured ten was a nice number.
I went over the top with buying little toys for party bags, a great cake and lots of nice food because this was his first real party and I wanted it to be special.
On the day I started to receive text messages with random excuses why people couldn’t come that had said yes until, by the time of the party, I only had five confirmed guests.
My friend was coming to help and she rang me to ask if she could bring her three nephews as she had ended up looking after them that day. My son had never met her nephews but I said they might aswell come as I had so many children not coming.
The time of the party came and there was me, my son, his sister, my friend and her three nephews and the dance teacher waiting for the five children from school. Only one turned up!
We waited about half an hour and then some children came in with presents. I didn’t recognise them and they looked older than my son but I let them in and welcomed them. My son was really happy that some children had come. About ten minutes later their parents came back and said sorry their party was next door and they had dropped their children at the wrong party! So they left.
We made it as good as we could and the children who came had a great time. My son didn’t seem to mind too much that he didn’t know most his party guests but he did ask where all the children from school were. I kept my tears for later when he wasn’t looking!
Ever since then my son hasn’t had birthday parties. We have been on days out for his birthday and his guests have been his grandparents. We have visited nearly every zoo in the country and fed lots of animals, been ice skating and last year we did an escape room. He has not mentioned inviting anyone other than Grandad.
He had three party invites through the whole of primary school and they were from my friends children. He often talked about other people having parties but he wasn’t invited.
So back to this week’s conversation and I don’t know what to do. He is at a new school. There aren’t many children but there are children he wants to invite. I think he is as nervous as me of inviting them incase no one comes. I don’t even know their parents so it would be a risk.
I know so many children are in this position and I feel so sad for them all, not just for my son.
The solutions I’ve come up with at the moment are to book a backup plan, try to secretly invite children to an activity he could do as a treat even if they weren’t there and if they came it would be a bonus or alternatively we might just invite Grandad and go out for the day again.
I will keep you posted how it goes. Hopefully it will be a happy post!