Dear Teacher, please don’t shout! – A letter from a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)


Dear Teacher,


Please dont shout. Please don’t tell me off like that. Shouting hurts my ears so much I can’t hear what you are saying.

I didn’t do my homework last night. You see it’s so difficult when my brain has been at school all day it’s all too much. Last night I just needed to chill for a while. My head tells me work is for school and when I’m at home I can’t make my head do the work. I’m sorry I ripped it up. I wanted to be good.


I dont mind missing break anyway. I would rather be inside when everyone is in the playground. You see it’s just too crowded and noisy and I dont get whats going on. No one will be my friend and I don’t know what to do. So if you make me stay inside and do the work then that’s fine by me. Work is for school anyway.


Teacher please don’t be cross with me that I won’t take my hood off. Please try to understand it helps me to keep it on.


I’m still listening when I don’t look. I’m trying to be good. Please don’t make me look at you, I won’t be able to concentrate then.


Please don’t be sad with me for running out the room. It all just got too much. I didn’t want to get mad in there. I was trying to be good.


I’m sorry I didn’t do my work today. I didn’t mean to make you cross! It’s just I don’t want it to be ruined and I wasn’t sure I could do it right.


Teacher please don’t get mad when I won’t change for PE. Change is just so hard for me and my PE kit feels too strange.


Please don’t sigh when I don’t answer straight away. I’m not always sure if you are talking to me.


I’m sorry I only wrote one sentence. I can’t read between the lines like you said because there is nothing there. 



I’m sorry I broke the table and chewed my pen today. I’m sorry I kicked the bin. I’m sorry I ran away.


Teacher I’m not very good at remembering and forgot to tell my mum that thing. Maybe you could make sure you tell her next time instead of getting annoyed.


Teacher please understand I’m trying to do my best. I’m trying to be good but school is such a hard place to be. I don’t always understand, I don’t always feel ok. Please get to know my triggers, explain things really well. Please help me when I need it. Please don’t make me do things that are too hard. Please don’t get cross, instead take the time to work out why I do things the way I do. I can’t always tell you if something is wrong so I need you on my side.


From the child that asked to go home every five minutes for seven years!


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14 Comments Add yours

  1. fatamsimth says:

    That made me cry a little

      1. fatamsimth says:

        Meh, it’s all a part of the roller coaster ride. How/when did you tell your son that he is on the spectrum? Our boy is 5, and we get opinions all over the place about that.

      2. I told him when he was diagnosed. He was nine because he was on many waiting lists before that. I very simply told him that everyones brains are different and that means everyone likes different things and are good at different things. I told him all the things he was good at and then told him there were other people whos brains were a bit like his and told him about some famous people with autism and that the name for people who think a bit like him is autism. He is quite academically bright and I got a few books to help. I think it depends on the child and their level of understanding as to the best time although my son doenst remember being told now and I think thats a good thing.

      3. fatamsimth says:

        Not sure if my comment went through (tech difficulties). When did you tell your son about his ASD?

  2. Diane says:

    This reminds me so much of my youngest he has ASD and everything in the letter is so him. He has been very lucky throughout his primary school years as the teachers at the school are brilliant (mainstream). He has now moved to high school, again mainstream and so far the transition has been great. There are some teachers who just don’t understand, but for us so far so good.

    1. Im so pleased your son has had understanding teachers! School can be so hard! I hope the rest of high school goes well for you! 😊

  3. As a mum and a teacher this is so very familiar, more understanding is definitely needed in schools to help children like ours. We need to work harder to adapt the environment to work for them, rather than expecting them to make all of the changes. Some of us do care, I promise x #Spectrumsunday

    1. Thankyou so much for being a teacher that cares! Its people like you that have meant so much to us over the years x

  4. My son is home educated so we can reduce a lot of the daily stresses which come from school life. But, even with that, I am still learning how to manage my own expectations of what is possible. It must be so hard in the classroom.x #spectrumsunday

    1. It really must, especially with thirty other children to look after! X

  5. Sounds like it was the teacher who needed educating a little….! As adults we should all open our minds to why children really react the way they do, and help make situations bearable for all. #SpectrumSunday

    1. We have unfortunately had a few of those! And you are so right, we should!

  6. Oh hun, that’s quite hard to read. School can be so tough for some of our kids.. sending hugs. Thanks for linking it to #spectrumsunday

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