First day back.

I’m going back to school today. I’m in year five now. This is the door I usually go in but the door is shut. Its meant to be open. Why is the door shut?  I have to go in first, and children are starting to arrive.

Mum takes me to the other door and it’s open but I don’t want to go in this door. My teaching assistant isn’t at the door, she is meant to take me to the classroom. Why isn’t she here? Why is my door closed? There are too many children now!

Mum says she will take me to the classroom and I feel a bit better but Oh no! The head teacher is at the door saying “no parents allowed in the new building” she won’t let my mum come in! I don’t want to go in there by myself! I can’t do that. All the children are going in already, the classroom won’t be empty when I get there. Why is my door shut? Where is my teaching assistant? I want to go home. Can I go home now?

Mum told the headteacher to get my teaching assistant and she is here now to take me in but I don’t want to go in so I hold onto my mum. My arms won’t let go. There are a lot of children going in this door. I can’t go in there. I want to go home. Why didn’t they open my door? I can’t go in the classroom, everyone will look at me.

My teaching assistant is holding onto me and my mum is gone now. I can feel my eyes starting to cry. I really don’t want to be here today. I want my mum. I want to go home. Can I go home now? Why didn’t they open my door. These shoes feel funny. There are so many children in the corridor and I don’t know what they are doing. It’s too loud. My ears are hurting. I want to go home.

We are outside my classroom now. It’s not the right room. Its different to last year. I don’t want to go in there. I can hear the noise from outside, its too loud. I can’t go in.

I’m not taking my coat off. My peg isnt here. My coat goes on my peg. Why isn’t my peg here? Why wasn’t my door open? I want my mum. It’s too loud. It’s the wrong classroom!

My teaching assistant opens the door. I can’t go in there. There are too many people and they are too loud. What if someone talks to me, I won’t know what to say. That’s not my teacher! The tables are in the wrong place. My shoes hurt. I want to go home. I feel funny.

The teacher tells me to find a chair and sit down. What does she mean find a chair? There are loads of chairs. Where am I meant to sit? It’s so loud in here. I don’t like this room, it’s too echoey and the light is too bright. The tables are in the wrong place. Why didn’t they open my door? There’s too many children. Who’s that? I don’t know that face. What are they doing in my classroom? My shoes are hurting me. That light hurts. My head hurts. I feel funny. My ears hurt. Which chair do I sit on? My hands start to move the chairs. I don’t want the tables there. My hands start to push the tables. Im crying now. Its all trying to get out my head but my mouth hasn’t got any words to say. I don’t want to be here. It’s too much. I can’t be here. My heart starts to beat really fast. My feet want to run and my thoughts are turning into screams as they come out of my mouth. I’m getting out of this room. I don’t like it here. Why didn’t they open my door? Can I go home now? I run as fast as I can. I want to go home!

The head teacher grabs me as I run through the door. She is shouting. It hurts my ears. I don’t know what she is saying. My ears can’t listen any more. My head is too full! I try to get her off me, I don’t want to be grabbed, I just want to go home. There are too many people. Why was my door shut? Where is my peg? It’s too loud! Make it stop! I want to go home.
My mum is back! I hold her so tight. My eyes won’t stop crying. My head still hurts. I can’t do it mummy. I can’t do it.

Mum tells me I’m going to be ok. She takes me home. I can go home now!

I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.


Thankyou for taking the time to read this post.  If you would like to read more then feel free to follow my blog or like my Facebook page which I keep up to date with new posts as they are written. You can also find me on Twitter @KidsOnTour1

Published by Autism Kids on Tour - Autism without limits

I have two kids and love to show them the world. We dont let autism limit us in our adventures! I write about our adventures and include tips on how suitable activities were for children with autism. I also write more autism specific posts.

One thought on “First day back.

  1. Oh my God I just want to wrap her up and hug her. I remember that Chaos all too well! 💔

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: