Play time

Im sat in class but I dont get it. Its literacy and my teacher just told me to read between the lines to get the answer. That light is making a noise. There isn’t anything between the lines except space though. It’s too loud in here my ears are hurting. How can I put more information? I dont know whats wrong with me but I don’t feel right. There’s nothing else to write. Im stabbing the paper with the pen. The pen is hurting me anyway. I can’t do the work. It’s too hard. I don’t understand. The bell goes for dinner time.


Oh no! It’s too loud. Why is everyone running to the door. There are so many people. I still feel funny. I’m going to sit here. My teacher tells me to go to dinner.


I walk slowly to my peg to get my lunch box. I don’t think I want to eat today. There are too many people in the dining room. It’s so loud. I don’t like the dining room. I don’t like the dining room. I can’t.


I walk in. I feel worse now. It’s so loud! It’s too loud. I can’t work out where I’m meant to sit but I see someone I know and go to sit there. “you can’t sit here someone else is sat there” I sit down anyway. They can’t be right, the chair is empty. Everyone at the table gets up and moves. I’m on my own. I’m not going to eat. I don’t feel like eating. I feel funny. I go and put my lunch box back and go outside.


The playground is so big. I can’t see anyone I know. People are screaming. I can’t stand the noise so I put my fingers in my ears. There are too many people. What are they doing anyway? Why are they running? I don’t like this. I feel worse now. I can’t do it. I want to go home. I start to say it under my breath. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want….OW! Someone touched me! That hurt! Why did they touch me? Where did they go? Why did they hurt me?


I can’t be here. It’s too much. My heart is beating so fast. My legs start to run. I want to go home. I want to go home. There is a fence in the way. I want to go home. I can’t stay in here, it’s not nice. I don’t feel right. My legs are climbing. So are my hands. There is shouting. I don’t know what they are saying. It’s too loud. The faces look funny. Why are they shouting, it hurts when they shout.


Someone got me. I don’t want them to touch me. Im screaming now. I’m not letting go of the fence. I want to go home!


I’m being dragged across the playground, they are holding my arms, I don’t want them to hold me, my legs are trying to get back to the fence. I want to go home. My hands hurt. Why are they making me go back through the playground. I don’t like the playground. My arm got hurt. It’s too loud. Nothing makes sense. I want to go home!


I’m in the corridor, my foot is kicking. The head teacher is shouting. Why is she shouting? It’s too loud. It hurts my ears so I put my fingers in my ears. She keeps shouting. Why won’t she stop. I want to go home. Her face looks funny. I fall to the floor. My legs are cross. So are my hands. I scream and hit my head on the floor. I hit it again. I can’t stop. I don’t want to be here. It’s too much. I want to go home! I want it all to go away.


I feel someone hold me. They aren’t shouting. This quiet calm voice cuts through the chaos in my head.  I can hear the words. “it’s ok, Mummy’s here now. Mummy’s here” those words feel nicer. They aren’t shouty words. They don’t hurt my ears. I can’t stop crying though. It’s still too much. I carry on until Im exhausted. I let mummy hold me now. The nice words are still there. I can’t see anything else. I want to go home. I want to go home mummy.


She picks me up. I can hear words. It’s the head teacher. She’s not shouting this time but she still sounds funny. “destroying school property”… “kicked a bin” …”the fence” …”naughtiest child we have ever had in this school” Is she talking about me? I’m not naughty. Am I? What did I do? I want to go home! I hate my life. I wish I was dead.


My mum looks at the head teacher with a funny face and all I hear is  “I’m taking him home”


I’m going home!




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Published by Autism Kids on Tour - Autism without limits

I have two kids and love to show them the world. We dont let autism limit us in our adventures! I write about our adventures and include tips on how suitable activities were for children with autism. I also write more autism specific posts.

19 thoughts on “Play time

  1. Interesting post. It is amazing sometimes to imagine how a child might see the big world all around him\her. Good exercise to get used to see things though a child’s eyes.
    Thank for sharing!

  2. This post breaks my heart because honestly it is probably how my special needs son saw the world before I pulled him out to homeschool him…. he doesn’t have the ability to express himself well but he was miserable and sad being in the pathetic excuse for public school system we have for special needs children… Taking him out of that environment was the best thing ever for my child….

  3. Such a heartbreaking story! Really well written and emotionalโ€ฆItโ€™s sad how this is the reality of so many children out there! Thanks for sharing:)

  4. Every expression, every thought is so well written and deeply described that I could literally feel the pain while reading it. Suddenly my whole perspective about how children think has changed! Thank you for sharing with us

  5. First, Iet me say I enjoyed this post up to the last sentence. The content is kind of eye opening most especially for us parents. We should sometimes make it an exercise to try to decipher how kids think and react to every thing we say, and every scenario. This post reminds that I have to be more mindful and really dig deeper to go into the mind of my son to better guide him

  6. Very heart-felt post! I can relate, because I worked with autistic children as a speech-developmental therapist. Also, my 5-year-old granddaughter has sensory processing disorder and very likely, Asperger’s. This could totally be a scenario that would happen to her! Very well-written and my heart goes out to you. My daughter has her own blog, Journey of Grace, in which she also writes about parenting a child with special needs.

  7. Ah yes, just the kind of perspective we need to see things from the little. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hurrah that home is a safe haven (I feel like that too sometimes, esp. after a hard work day). ๐Ÿ™‚

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